so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
