Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
