I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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