Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
