she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
