I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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