hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The beer is more important than you right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
