i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
