Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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