i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
