wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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