the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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