evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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