I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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