never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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