the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
