thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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