Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
