you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
