According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
