We won't sleep together?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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