this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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