...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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