omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
