I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
