nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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