I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
