your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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