So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
