I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
