Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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