To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
