If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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