Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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