well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
