I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I had to cum in my sink.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
