Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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