these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
