woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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