is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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