If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
