All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
