There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
