Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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