can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
