He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
