She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
