ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
