she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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