Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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